no longer a secret
this performance saved my life when I was dispersed.
i felt it. On my chest, way too close to the pyramid of speakers - when I realised I loved to feel the beat pressuring me, physically.
when I learned I need the build-ups. The tensions. The releases. The mashups of being able to distinguish every single track on what, for most people, is seen as a whole.
noticing the details, not the whole, before I can forfeit my composure and fully drown myself in something.
it applies everywhere now. The silence, the soothing, the coming back, the strong hit, another break, another pause, it comes back stronger. The longer the better.
it's so singular yet so whole. It's made of a thousand tiny pieces that I can separate, allowing me to absorb the fullness of it as a whole.
no, I'm not overthinking. It's true.
all we perceive are wavelengths. This was my personal blue print. I was young but it made so much sense... I understood it clearly. To the point I let myself go.
i miss the experience of another loooooong build up right in front of the bass. It's been a couple of years. Against my fear of getting easily overwhelmed, I would live in this blissful experience forever.
and it's not even enough. 10 minutes that fly by. It's always too fast, therefore I hit the ground and force myself to go. I've done it dozens of times and I need it to remind me of who I am. A conscious ecstasy. Getting lost knowing I've found the destiny.
this was one of my best-kept secrets. A sort of key to me. Hope it helps someone else. And the looooong solo knob-tweaking is one of the best I've seen in many "I'll force myself to go because of this experience alone". The lights, the sounds, the build-ups, the breakdowns... they are beautiful. So fucking beautiful.
i hate curse words.
