how long has it been? Since then and now? Since the now of the then and the now of now?

maybe a second, a day or two, a year or a couple of weeks. Do I care? I do but I can’t. So I don’t.

the only luxury I can afford to have right now is an act of obedience. To myself. That other self … sigh, that is still me and that’s me and I accept yada yada that I have some issues with. I don’t drive but I pause at every stop sign because that me… which is just me and I have to be fine with it (ugh it even pains me to write it even if I’m fast at it) and its little life path in has been invaded by junctions that I’m not interested in facing…

as with everything - and that is why I have a great deal of confusion on how to navigate existence - it is always extreme. I don’t do extreme. I can’t do extreme, I don’t like extreme. Seems I’m in the minority here.

it’s pretty much a fight I know I won’t win: to maintain myself near the middle while I’m pushed to one or another, this or that. Which is where all things go wrong, always.

we aren’t any different from the humans we’ve always been. But there has never been so easy to polarise and exaggerate extremes on a global level, for everyone, engulfing those who don’t want it like a wildfire in zero humidity and constant wind on a hot summer day… and make them seem appropriate and logical as if we aren’t driving ourselves to insanity in it’s purest form, delusion unmasked, in sight for the kind of spectacle that you’re forced to participate in, even if just for one small act so you can run away after - and the damage has been done.

maybe insanity is not waiting for different outcomes after the same, repeated attempts. Maybe it is the fact that we managed to convince ourselves that a sentence like that can be the absolute truth. Or that there is such thing as absolutes at all…

i know nothing. I say nothing. I don’t care to join. I might show my support to some participants out of respect and pay for a ticket, allowing voyeurism yet deep down what I am is truly…

i’m not here. You can’t see me. I’m invisible. I’m tiny. I’m a virtual particle on the quantum field at most. Nothing more. I’d appreciate if you were so kind as to doubt my existence.

all I want is the opposite of power. Which is peace.