denouement (or the lack of it)

“do I stay there? I don’t want to do that”

- “no, not at all”

“so how does it work?”

- “it’s just when you feel like it”

(first of all, I doubt I’ll ever feel like it)

“how does it work exactly?”

- “so… beep, beep, beeeeep”

• i have the information - it doesn’t mean I will use it. Sorry not sorry - I appreciate it. I really do. But sometimes we have to choose for ourselves, even if the choice is knowingly not the smartest one. Call it a hunch, call it whatever you want.

i call it “we’ll see”. The see-ness of the future. The one that makes us decide to go for it or not.

it is based on information of all types - including unconscious memories.

like the one of the boat, the lack of outfits, the snakes in the bedroom. Unconscious until they’re not.

———————

i prefer to think it’ll all be for the better - of us. Not just me. Us.

i opt to act out of hope and not despair. Even if the hope comes directly as a response to the latter… is it a choice, I wonder?

perhaps. even if propelled by one of those unconscious memories, again.

but I do know what I want. How I want it, not so much. The WHAT is easier. It’s targeted. It’s visual, tangible in more than one way.

i can surely hope for what I want - and I can visualise it. In terrific detail, horrific at times - of us hashtag blessed, but in a new setting, with new hopes, plans and dreams. Travels and adventures. Kindness and overture.

as for now, there’s still no denouement… and I truly despise any kind of plot that denies me one.