my lips

are being crunched by my teeth. It hurts. I take notice but I don't change it...

my eyes are zoning everything out... it's all a blur. Around. Right here. Ok, I don't have my glasses but still... it's not the moment to care for smaller things.

"one day"!

choose the option that lends you a hand, helping you crawl from the hole of the existential crush. Dig your feet on the wall and climb through rocks that make you bleed. Come out and greet the helping hand - attached to no one. It was a solo effort. then "one day" when you've walked away from the death grip of primal fears... it'll get you. "one day". That day just so happens to be "one day".

the one pushed forward time and time again, corresponding to such words as might, should, if and the foolishness of erasing "one day" with the negative weight it handles and masking it with glittery effects and beautiful lights to make it shine. To make it fake, to make a fool out of you, to kick you in the gut with uncertainty or the certainty of a disappointment (that you always saw come your way...).

how dumb. Really. How DUMB!

(TBC - I forgot to eat and drink and all those basic things my brain doesn't care for).

back with risotto.

goldfish sandwich in a pickled juice basket with my heart on the side
chocolate protein and egg flavoured chips.

i don't want to be your buttercup, I just want to be a bettercup :)