2.32AM
third worse-than-nothing amount of sleep kind of night.
which is absolutely untrue - reality tries to fold and mould itself to the lines of the lack of sleep and it becomes corrupted. It smells of roses (I can't smell flowers) and little impossible shapes in colours that are outside the spectrum of the waves human eyes can see.
i spent too much time imagining a colour I never saw knowing it would not be possible.
i spent too much time getting distracted by people telling me that flowers smell good knowing I couldn't have the same sensation (and that it was harmful to try anyway).
this lack of sleep is closer to the vivid dreams (where last night I got upset at someone because they decided to kill someone else in my house and I had to clean all of it, as an example) than to any wakefulness that reasoning thrives in.
still... it is done. The twisted perception of what is/or is not real led to the boiling point that needed to boil over and burn as to let logic scream.
and scream it did. It feels like a month ago - but it's only a day away...
the state of blissful awareness of constant positive surprise of logic and reason being the messenger to the most raw of emotions and irrational thoughts.
logic came out yelling in tears, honesty as it always does, reasoning as the final weapon to inflict deadly force on dishonesty and the haze it creates. Both sides of the brain - and probably more areas that don't usually light up at the same time - jumped fast in their connections, clearly caring for one another in what are measures of time so small that losing control is the only option left.
tears of all kinds with the logic and peace of mind needed to deliver such important words and convey so many deep, dark emotional truths are deadly for everything or everyone that gets in the way of truth.
my truth is only my truth but no one can escape the basic laws that rule our little wobbly world. And when these are superimposed and become one, you should never take no for an answer.
(TBC, yet another weird travel -
its 2.52 by now)
